The grooms of today are usually a bit more involved than when our fathers were getting married.
They often help the bride make important decisions about the style, colors, location, and music that contribute to making the event a reflection of the couple. However involved you choose to be, it is your decision with your future bride and her family. The best rule of thumb is to be supportive and help when asked. It is also a good idea to understand the traditional role of the groom's responsibilities, so that you hold up your end of the planning and organization of the affair.
However, there are some traditional duties that you should take on as the groom-to-be.
- Securing the celebrant for the wedding. Whether you choose to have your priest, a justice-of-the-peace, minister or other celebrant, the groom is traditionally responsible with the bride for booking the ceremony.
- Selecting the Best Man and groomsmen. Traditionally, the groom selects close friends and relatives to stand up for him at the ceremony and bear witness. The groomsmen (or ushers) will also help to escort guests to their seats when they arrive for the ceremony.
- Purchase the wedding ring. You and the bride-to-be should go together to select a wedding ring. Make sure the fit is proper and it is comfortable to wear with the engagement ring. It is also your responsibility to ensure that the rings arrive at the ceremony and are safe until needed.
- Select the tuxedos for the wedding party. It is the grooms responsibility to choose the tuxedo store, select the style and dress code for the ushers and fathers, and communicate with all the men in the wedding party instructing them when and where to get their tuxedos fitted.
- Planning and booking the rehearsal dinner. Traditionally the groom (or his family) is responsible for booking the place for the rehearsal dinner and getting the invitations out for the event.
- Drafting the guest list and seating arrangement for your friends and family. It is your responsibility to work out the guest list of all your friends and family you wish to invite. If the bride's family is paying for the wedding, you may consult with them on the size of the list, or you may offer to pay for any additional guests.
- Booking the transportation. The groom is responsible for booking the transportation to and from the wedding ceremony for himself and his bride.
- Booking the hotel for the wedding night. If your reception is not at a hotel, or you want to keep your wedding night plans a secret (or a surprise for your bride), you should book a hotel for your first special night as husband and wife.
- Planning, booking and paying for the Honeymoon. Traditionally the bride and groom plan this exciting trip together, however, it is the grooms responsibility to book, plan and pay for the honeymoon.
- Purchase a gift for each of the groomsmen and the best man. You should purchase thoughtful gifts for each of your friends who help you in your wedding. They do not need to be identical gifts, in fact, it demonstrates careful thought if you purchase individual gifts according to the likes and interests of each person.
- Purchase other gifts. You may want to surprise your bride with a thoughtful or memorable gift, or perhaps one for your mother or mother-in-law.
- Select a song for the special Dance of the Groom and his Mother. If you have a special song you wish to play while you dance with your mother, you should let the band or DJ know in advance.
- Pick up your tuxedo, and assist out-of-town groomsmen or relatives in the wedding party with picking up their tuxedos.
- Pack for your honeymoon. Don't forget your passport if you need one!
- Arrange for a ride to the airport for you and your bride to catch your flight. If you are catching an early flight the next day, be sure you have made arrangements with a friend, relative, or service to pick you up at your hotel and take you to the airport on time.
- Arrange for all the tuxedos to be returned to the shop. It is best to designate a person to collect all the tuxedos, including yours, and return them to the tuxedo shop in a timely manner. You will be too busy on your honeymoon to worry about getting them returned.
Many of the groom's responsibilities are often done with the help and guidance from your fiance. However, it is important to understand that as the groom, you have duties and responsibilities to uphold in this very important lifetime event. Remember to be patient when dealing with conflicting family members, and that the most important goal is to have your wedding be a reflection of the love and commitment you share with the woman who is to become your wife. |
